Sometimes I wonder…
I work in a tax office of a nationwide tax preparation company. It’s good work, and despite being witness to the worst of human nature (tax season always brings out the greedy, the hateful and the ungrateful – and not just from taxpayers), I do return year after year to serve through educating and properly filing taxes.
It’s a small world though. After they started drifting into the waters of “most-definite heresy,” I had to let go of my associations with Martin and Matthias. I am still deeply in love with them both, but also somewhat obsessive as well. In addition, I was always wary of joining with people who taught against the word of God. Homosexuality is one thing – there are enough emotions and human relationship dynamics mixed into that topic where being blinded or having a different view is almost expected, so I’d give a “free pass.” However, when one starts entertaining notions of universalism, or completely abandoning the Christian sexual ethic to allow for casual sexual activity with anyone, that’s something else entirely.
I was doing the taxes for a young couple today, when I noticed that they lived in the same town that Matthias and Martin currently do. After further inspection, I was rather shocked to see that she lived right next door to them. Needless to say, I hope that my casual professionalism distracted my clients from the growing blush that I could feel creeping up my face. It’s so frustrating and it breaks my heart – I’m still ridiculously fond of them despite the fact that they’re actively (though mostly out of ignorance, I think) and obstinately teaching others to walk away from Christ (again, out of ignorance given that I think they really do believe everything they tell others).
The rest of that tax interview, and really the rest of my shift, I was mildly flustered as I was strongly reminded how smitten I was (and still am) with them. But I’m glad that I can hide it well enough.
It’s funny how you can try to go for so long making excuses (legitimate or not) regarding pushing someone from your mind, when Providence has an odd way of bringing them back to mind.